I wish I could take credit for what follows. This was written by father, grandfather, and education activist, Denis Ian. Enjoy.
I’m an old father now. Suddenly it seems.
My sons have sons. I own lots of memories. I polish the sweet ones and never dust the ones that hurt. I mind time now. I didn’t used to. In fact, like lots of you, I was reckless with time. Not any longer.
When I was a boy of about 9 or so, I had the temporary misfortune of being the last to the dinner table … and that meant sitting just to the left of my father. That was like sitting next to the district attorney … or the pope. My brothers loved my dilemma … because that’s what brothers do. It’s in the Irish Manual of Life.
So … there I was … waiting for my moment of challenge. The knives were clanging plates and there were two or three different conversations happening around this table with the fat legs. Someone mentioned that my grandfather had a birthday in a few days … and that little-bitty mention sprung my father’s mind.
“So, young Denis” said my father, “ how long would you like to live? What is a good, long life?”
Right off the bat I’m thinking this is a trick question … because my father was never familiar with the obvious. So, there I sat … and my brothers had caught wind of my dinner-table distress … and they were loving every minute of it.
Meanwhile, my father was sipping his usual cocktail and pushing some food around his plate … which means he’s kinda waiting for an answer … to the trick question. And I don’t have much in the way of trick answers … because … I’m nine. Gimme a break.
After several long minutes he leaned over and asked, “And?”
I went full-out bravado … more for my brothers than for any other reason. I gotta live in this family after all, right? Strong is the key. Trust me.
“Seventy. Seventy years old is a good, long life.”
I was so pleased with my answer, I smirked at every guy at the table … until I noticed that my father was completely unimpressed … still sitting there … at the head of the table … playing fork-hockey with his peas.
And me? I’m waitin’ for a sign … any sign! … that my skinny answer is sufficiently smart. I’m dreaming of the big back-slap … or even the dreaded hair-muss.
There was none.
In fact, it seemed I was completely off his radar for a long moment.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. My father didn’t do that sort of stuff. I must’ve had him confused with my best friend’s father … who was really normal.
After a few long minutes, he clasped his hands and leaned over toward me. And then the verdict.
“You’re a silly boy.”
Mind you … he said it softly. No mocking at all. Just a soft, blunt statement … designed to make me think all over again. To spin my brain-gears a bit more. And I did. Even my brothers were cranking their brains. I think that was part of my father’s strategy … to make the moment belong to everyone. To glue everyone into the lesson.
Then he leaned over once again … and in a loud whisper … so all could hear … he said …“If you live to be seventy … you will have lived just 840 months. Does that seem long enough for you?”
And, of course, it didn’t then … and it doesn’t now. And I learned the lesson he intended me to learn … to be careful with numbers and to respect time. And to not waste time … or let others waste my time.
So, from this old father … to you young fathers and young mothers … mind the time.
Mind those sweet moments with your children and seldom say “Hurry up!”. Don’t wish for anything except this moment. Leave tomorrow alone. Tend to today.
Don’t let anyone hurry your child.
Don’t let anyone sandpaper their softest years with grit or rigor … because there’s plenty of that stuff in the eight hundred months ahead.
Don’t let anyone run innocence out of your child’s life. It has its own cadence and rhythm … and it’s plenty fast enough.
Don’t let others spin those clock hands faster than they already spin.
Mind the numbers in your life as never before. Pay as much attention to the little moments as you do the big moments.
Remind yourself that a five year old is sixty months on this planet. Less than 2,000 days old. They’re still brand new people! No one has the right to whisper anything about college or careers to a child determined to conquer the monkey bars. All adults should respect the Law of the Chair … if a child’s legs do not reach the floor … well … they are reality-exempt.
That eight year old … the one who sleeps in his Little League uniform? He’s a third grader. Not yet 100 months old. Let that sink in. Why is he rip-roaring mad at himself over some junk-test? That’s not the worry of an 8 year old. He should be anxious about base hits … not base line scores. His only career thought is what professional team to sign with … and that’s heavy enough.
That music-blasting “tween” is maybe 150 months old. At that age their job is to not walk into door jambs … and to try to put a lid on some hormone havoc. They’re still closer to babyhood than adulthood. Why do we let schools bum-rush them into anxiety-hell over tests? Mother Nature has already over-supplied them with all the anxiety they can barely handle. Why don’t we just lay off ‘em … and let ‘em outgrow this messy moment? It’s bad enough as it is … leave it be.
I’m glad my father cured me from becoming number-numb.
My hot-seat moment has served me well for … for lots of months. Maybe this will shake up your consciousness … and slow you down some. And maybe … maybe you won’t say “Hurry up!” quite so often. And perhaps you’ll remind that school to slow down … that there are children on board … and they are entitled to every last drop of innocence.
Don’t let them tug your child into their warped world. If they think education is all about numbers, well, they’ve already forfeited their privilege to enjoy your child. They’re just as silly as I was … but I was only about a hundred months old. What’s their excuse?
Mind time.
Enlightening, enriching and just a damn good read!
LikeLiked by 4 people
Very well written and I enjoyed a great read. Very interesting post! Well done!
LikeLiked by 2 people
This hit me hard. I am fifteen and I’m more worried about school right now. It is August. It is Summer and I am worried about school. I need to mind time. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks for sharing
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wow beautuful
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is excellent. Thank-you posting it. He puts it so well.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Awesome post!!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on Ice Cream Strawberry and commented:
Uuuuuu.. I love this post..
LikeLiked by 2 people
Very well, awesome..
LikeLiked by 2 people
Terrific post – it is important as people and as leaders we are mindful of our time here on this earth. Time is shorter than we know and when we are young we forget to take time for what really matters. I encourage all to read this article and understand it fully.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I love it … I was reading and I really thought a man was telling the story. I truly enjoy the tale and the wisdom …
LikeLiked by 2 people
I hope my father teaches me more about life than business and marriage (i’m fourteen and he starts talking about it).
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is brilliant and beautiful. Thank you for sharing 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
A gem of lessons and too surprisingly obvious for many people to notice, and easily forgotten in high-paced society.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Beautiful! Numbers are mean to an end and they are useful. Problem is when they become an end in itself, which has no meaning.
LikeLiked by 2 people
No one can us of values better than our parents. They are the living Gods.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Quite interesting…great article…love it
LikeLiked by 2 people
Proper great read, I love coming across different and unique stuff like this. When you tell a persons age in months it really puts it into perspective that we aren’t on the planet all that long so live it to the maximum! – great stuff.
LikeLiked by 2 people
What a powerful way to stress the importance of time and the need to slow down. Excellent post!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for this post. It’s a great imparting of wisdom to future parents
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on arbeitsmenschen.blog.
LikeLike
Thank you….its beauiful….
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reaches in the core!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Beautifully written! My father is 50 years old….and he reminds me all the time to enjoy every bit of my life
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s so difficult to be patient. I teach kids and try to be patient and then I lose and feel bad about what I did. Hope I can change that now
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ya it’s good
LikeLiked by 1 person
Profound and very eloquent.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a fantastic read. Time, the rarest of commodities!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on vith15 and commented:
Pleasant!
Yet people say that time is the only thing you should kill. I would say that we should not think ahead too much and enjoy the moment instead!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is a very well written reminder on time. Thanks for the booster!
“Time a wasted treasure.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yh i love this post young people really need this
LikeLiked by 2 people
Aww but at the same time time some people they do not have any father so whoever reads this blog should not like it but love it like me I am adopted
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a beautiful post! Reminds us not to take anything for granted. Time is precious 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on Hassan Nasru.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful post……
https://olatolawunmi.wordpress.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
What an amazing post. Thank you for all the wisdom in there!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh how I wish I’d read this 254 months ago. Thank you.
S
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderfully posted👏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awesome, Thanks for share!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A perfect read! It made my day. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
So well written and applicable through the years. This will be shared…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very deep, I’m 236 months old and this makes a lot of sense to me, I’ll be sure to keep this in mind if/when I have children.
LikeLiked by 1 person